what (bicycle) tribe are you from?

i'm not always a bike apologist - truth is some bikers are just douchebags. those are the ones who think the traffic laws don't apply to them. they don't stop at stop signs nor heed the speed limit signs. often times, these guys don't last long on the urban roads, especially ones that are congested and full of impatient motorists like seattle's.

but you may find it interesting that even within the cycling community, we don't necessarily like each other or not not snicker behind each other's backs. "why, ain't you all equally intolerable people," you ask? well, some of us are a lot more insufferable than others. the blog bikesnobnyc sections the cyclists into the following camps: the mountain biker, the messenger, the roadie, the triathlete, the urban cyclist, the contraption captain, the lone wolf, and the beautiful godzilla.

i would say di and i are more identified with the roadies, right, di? we ride a road bike, wear pearl izumi bibs and jackets, shoes with cleats and always bring enough water along the rides. in other words, we're prepared to go the distances. we are weary of that murphy law: "if thing can go wrong, it will go wrong!"

in the beginning, we were kind of the "lone wolf" type. the lone wolf doesn't give a hoot about decorum. he/she just shows up to ride. often in the wrong types of clothing and/or bikes. sometimes lone wolf doesn't do registration - rides pirate but will claim riding "independently" if anyone asks :). freeloading on foods at the registration tent and food stops. very unplanned and...kind of primitive. i remember di started with a steel bike that probably weighed more than her weight. the front tire popped while we were riding on the burke-gilman trail during our first bike ride together. we didn't even have a bike pump, much less a patch kit...haha...good old time! a humble beginning. hey it got to start somewhere! i remember i rode my brother's bike during my first long-distance ride (the 2013 flying wheels event) using regular platform pedals and RUNNING SHOES. blasphemy! :). we were definitely lone wolves!

so in truth, we don't necessarily dislike any cyclists out there, let them be the lone wolf, the mountain biker or the contraption captain. we just don't identify ourselves with them. however, there is one type of cyclist that we just don't care for - the urban bikers...they're douches.

yeah, those tight jean-sporting, scarf-wearing, fixie-riding, chain-smoking guys...bikesnob nyc blog describes them as follows:

1) while often in their twenties, urban cyclists can survive well into their 40s before either finally accepting other types of cycling or moving on to some other trendy form of transportation, such as Vespas or café racer motorcycles.

2) urban cyclists generally laugh at people who wear brightly coloured Lycra, though they fail to find equal humour in their own colour-co-ordinated bicycles, boutique clothing, or the fact that riding for more than a few hours in jeans is liable to turn your crotch into a microcosm of the Everglades.

3) the urban cyclist professes a great love of and respect for track racing, despite the fact that they generally have a long list of reasons why he or she can't make it to the velodrome with his or her $4,000 track bike, though they're "totally dying" to do so.

4) the urban cyclist is one of the very few groups of cyclists among whom cigarette smoking is not only acceptable but considered "cool," which is sort of like being really into performance cars but driving around with rags shoved up your exhaust.

5) they endlessly seek "authenticity," and are often fond of "vintage" bicycle frames. they will also make fun of other riders on brand-new, off-the-rack track bikes. however, since most the urban cyclists are roughly half the age of their vintage bikes, they're clearly not the original owners. so really, this means they're actually less authentic and more contrived than the riders of off-the-rack bikes.

In terms of appearance, the the urban cyclist look is evolving, but presently it is still an appropriation of three distinct subcultures.

1) eighties "peace punks" or "squatter punks" (also called "crusties"). from this group, the the urban cyclist appropriated the tight black jeans, the canvas sneakers, the ratty sweatshirt, the sleeve tattoos and the studded belt and/or exposed keys.

2) bicycle messengers, whose lifestyle (and consequently appearance) often overlapped with the peace punks. from the messengers, the the urban cyclist took the giant messenger bag, the track bike, the chopped handlebars and the frame stickers.

3) ironic preppy. since so few the urban cyclists actually have roots in any of these lifestyles, there's generally a neatly pressed polo-esque undercurrent to their look. this is manifest in such elements as snug sweaters, close-fitting dark blue jeans or capris cuffed Audrey Hepburn-style, and slip-on canvas sneakers.